Holding Down the Fort

At some point during your 'romantic recovery' you might get the chance to send yourself into another emotional hell if you let yourself. Unfortunately with this option comes that to take revenge as well. It's sometimes difficult to stay neutral. You may think to yourself, 'Yes, I want them back.' But no, you don't. You really don't. I'm telling you, you don't.

It's a simple case of pros vs. cons. And a fact that most people never change. Liars are more likely to lie again and the 'benefit of the doubt' can only get somebody by so many times. Ignorance is NOT bliss.

If 'the person' contacts you consider your options. Reply in a cheery way implying that you're glad to hear from them and still miss them, reply in a neutral voice that implies you have gotten over the situation and have moved on, or reply in a tone that states 'i'm still a hurt bitch' (and yes, that goes for the men too) or don't reply at all. The choice is yours. Remember that in order to get better you have to rise above some situations and be the bigger person.

Not only can it be a slap in the face to the other person but it sure makes you feel good. ;)

The Big Statement.

Okay, I'm going to take a moment and explain to you what recently prompted me to make a huge step in my recovery by removing someone from my facebook friends. In today's society, especially to my generation of the late 80s, it's as ultimate as it was in high school to completely cut someone. Bam, the ultimate statement.

It's also thanks to facebook for helping me realize how naive people can be. When you put your 'relationship status' to 'in a relationship' it's as though confirming that they are, indeed, a couple. When that pops up on a news feed from someone you had been leading a long and twisted road of flirtation, honesty, and deception, it cut deep. What the fuck about me let me get pulled into this inevitable lying game?

And yes, before you comment on my obvious cynicism, I'm well aware that my sex is as big, if not bigger liars and players of their own games. I'm not proud, nor am I like the rest. Honesty is my policy, if I didn't have it, I would have nothing.

It's after the games that you remember the rules. Unfortunately for me it made me oblivious to lying when faced with a pretty face. He had the most beautiful smi-. ANYWAY, my confrontation led to apologies, non heart felt words on a screen, as though it would fix it all. First came the phone number deletion, not a big deal to me for some reason.

It was a meaningful moment for me when I decided to remove this person from my facebook friends. Because everyone is friends with anyone on facebook because it's facebook, something we claim isn't serious but we all adhere to facebook rules.

I'm using that statement to move forward. I don't have to worry about seeing his name on my news feed since we all check it daily and I only have to talk to him if I run into him once in a blue moon. Something I believe I can handle.

I encourage you to take the time to remove all contact to a person if you can't stand hating them or still loving them. Help yourself because God knows no one else will.

Step 1: Acceptance

Men are liars. It’s a fact. Nothing about that is going to change, so I understand that it’s best to accept it. Unfortunately for the human race we have a little something called faith. Faith likes to creep into our brains while we sleep and make us believe things from people that are clearly lies. Not only is it detrimental to my continued enjoyment of life but it’s fucking irritating.

But yes, women lie too. And often, so I’m told. We’re all liars, cheats, and thieves and some take the abuse like a boxer covered in vaseline and some take it a little closer to heart. Sometimes you reach a point where tears feel unnecessary and the only justified response is anger.

This is my anger, the flow of my words is not controlled by sadness or self pity, it’s all honesty because it’s time that somebody spoke up about something. This is a game, life is a game and the better you are at playing it and playing people the more you will succeed. It’s a sad fact, something that I wish whole heartedly wasn’t true, but we all know that it is.

I'm told that the first step to recovery is acceptance. And yes, I'm well aware that this is for people who are addicted to various substances or can't accept someone's death but in it's own way I was addicted. I was addicted to the thought of a happy ending and believing that some people are good.

This is my acceptance speech, so to speak.

There are 3 signs that you may have a problem:

1. You believe people often, willingly, and get yourself caught up in emotions when they aren't returned.

2. Every person you date is 'the one'.

3. Believing in love at first sight. Usually a mental problem.

If you find that the above 3 problems keep appearing in your life then it's time for step 1.

Now, unlike most people I'm probably not going to be changing my ways and start searching for someone else. I may be sick of the games but I'm about to change the rules. It's time to start hating the player and the game and it's about to get ugly.